werewolf bar mitzvah spooky scary.

It's still sunny! Why is it still sunny?! I love it and all but I'm afraid that we will have to endure some bitter decline into the freezing depths of and ice age after this prolonged paradise. Emerging from my gloomy cocoon of essays and maths this is the only image from Spring 2013 that I have let myself witness. 

SO PRETTY. I feel like I've missed the dreamy side of myself for a while so it is then time to indulge in some fashion week and, of course, werewolf bar mitzvah
TRACY JORDAN LIVE ON

How do I make the darned video bigger?

Lolita, light of my life.

I have had this undying obsession ever since I picked up Lolita (a red squiggly line just appeared under that word and I think I will be writing to the english dictionary as to why it is not acceptable) that my future child must claim this name! (as well as my other children who will be Rainbow-pompom and Apple or whatever those hip celebs are tending these dayz). I have exclaimed this desire to many people so far and generally the reaction is to relate straight back to sexual abuse and maniacs but its just sooooo beautiful. I suppose the narrator is so obsessed with the even just the sound of the name that I have followed suite. Its the name. "Loleeta". And after reading the first page of the novel five times over and turning into a sobbing pathetic mess I confess I loved it. 
A quote I read from Flower's blog reminded me of the painful nostalgia the narrator suffers from which drives his desires:
"Nostalgia in reverse, the longing for yet another strange land, grew especially strong in Spring" - Vladimir Nabokov
It has just all got me thinking, not really thoughts I cant articulate at the moment.

I'm going to finish it before I watch either of the movies, and I am intending on growing my hair for as long as it takes so that I can where it just like Lo (we r tight, dat's her nickname). 

I took these in another world, as in I cannot remember when and how or anything but they are on my computer so in the only spare time I have had in MONTHS that hasn't been spent lying face down dribbling on the couch, here are my offerings earthlings. 

Marie Antoinette has stuck with me all this time and all the blues and pinks and cakes. 

Vintage dress, Anthropology clips and some bag from the dress up box in our house.. oh to be a child. 

It hit me the other day just how much better life would be if we had wings. This picture correlates in no way with the thought BUT DID YOU KNOWWWW? that it was a coincidence. 

Hello Kitty pencils and Salt Water sandals. 

My mum went to Japan and brought me back a few very nice things which I will document later because it felt special, it was before she left with my brother and sister for about 6 weeks. They are back now proving just how neglectful I have been of this dandy blogosphere. These little hard lollies she brought back were so perfect and cute "AND.. YRU CARN ... FI THEM AHHL IN YO MOWF TOGETHA".

Léon: And stop saying "okay" all the time. Okay? Mathilda: Okay. Léon: Good

...and just more pondering about Mathilda

Mathilda: If I win you keep me with you for life.
Léon: And if you lose?
Mathilda: Go shopping alone like before.

catching up.

I have to admit I held great enjoyment today when I was walking home with my iPod on shuffle and it went from Rihanna to Niel Young to The Smiths. A person can always have their style but for me I like being able to switch from one time zone to another and after reading The Perks of Being A Wallflower I totally aspire to be like Charlie in the moment where he just sits and watches everyone to choose the perfect song for the party and give the perfect mood. 
On a very unrelated not it has recently occurred to me that choosing plane movies is probably one of the most eye opening/stressful tasks humanity have to tackle. It is for me anyway. So many free films (minus the plane fee) at my greasy plane food fingertips and what to choose? 
I think I am close to mastering it. My last plane movie was Leon: The Professional and I literally tried to relive my life as Mathilda from then on. Still, still trying. Plastic cap gun? Nooo, no, I'm a 14 year old assassin. 

She's just so cool. I have even made a couple of black ribbon chokers with wire pendants. Unfortunately year 11 has a huge workload and I love blogging but its hard at the moment. As soon I finish working all I want to do is sleep. 

stream of consciousness.

A week of wanting to post as I try take a breath from school and this is what I have. There is so much I want to post but anyway it'll wait for a more motivated, enthusiastic mood, which will only come if I'm playing You Really Got Me by The Kinks in the background.

I made the necklace out of some cardboard after this Miu Miu one.

"I THINK WE ALL NEED A PEP TALK". Putting great 'all hail Miuccia' notions aside, this kid, 'Kid President', has my vote. This video was played in our school assembly the other day and then arriving home my mum dragged to the computer and I found myself watching the same video again. It's touching and we both watched this dancing, bundle of fun give to us some promising and sentimental messages. And it's the best coming from a kid. People, including myself, forget how we thought when we were younger and how the hour of judgement was whether or not mum saw the C on your report, but basically living was fun, and this kid tells us to remember it. "You got air running through your nose and heartbeat. That means it's time to do something!"

Oh and "Life's not a game people.. and it's not a cereal either. Well.. it is cereal". 

tell me something I know but have probably forgotten.

I had two and a half days between school and my return from Canada. I'm not good with examples or analogies and so on but if you could imagine a lioness protecting her cub and basically just being intent on only this one thing, this was how I spent this time, locked in my room driven insane by craft withdrawal. THAT DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE. I've also suffered from school withdrawal, said no one ever? But I do appreciate and love my education, lets make that clear. 
I'll try and paint out this scenario for you the previous explanation paid no tribute to my language skill or anything. For two months I was immersed in training and spare time was spent ..eating and maybe reading. Coming home was a realisation of how different life is here and opening my giant art draw reminded me that I hadn't touch a glue gun for a long time too. Both these realisations have equal value. 
Consequently this happened in the period of two days. 

The record player had some Barbie pimping. 

..as did my mirror with some lipstick. I watched a video of Tavi singing Heart of Gold by Neil Young, http://vimeo.com/36683208, which I seemed to fall in love with it and began listening to my Neil Young record more and more. It makes me feel calm, which I've  needed lately and I have candles burning and its all shiny and quiet but his music is still playing. 

I decorated these frames and sewed the banner above which says wallflower, inspired by my favourite book at the moment "because its the one I've read most recently", The Perks of Being a Wallflower. I'll probably write more about that. It deserve a higher level of tribute.  

And I have a wall for my headbands and necklaces which was also inspired by Tavi. I can't help but love all these symbolic things she creates, they all just feel so special and I don't want to feel like I'm 'copying' which I've heard too much, but it feels like an appreciation of someone else's ideas which makes my room more like a sanctuary when it reminds my of people that inspire me. 

Fake flowers stuck to the wall. 

 Curtains and roof hanging junk. 

The skeleton of Frida Kahlo...

holla days.

There is really too much confusion swallowing me up right now to write clearly. The past 3 months have felt like two really happy and sad extremes. I've come back from Canada feeling so positive about everything that happened. There was races and Canadian friends and snow and s'more cookies (even the words should be given a Nobel Prize, mum however thinks gross is more appropriate; mum what are you doing?! Mum! STAHP!). 
I'm really stuck to find words to describe it. It was exhausting sometimes, but being there felt good and the people there were fun to be around and I could be with them without worrying. Back here feels lonely and as much as I enjoy not having a social agenda sometimes I just want someone who doesn't care if we sit in a room for half an hour without talking and doesn't want to check their Facebook to discuss that girl who is the enemy because she has a thigh gap JEEZ. And it's dark and rainy outside which is totally enhancing this mood.. ahhh so much pathos! 

Before I left I was obsessing over beehives, Alice in Wonderland and white rabbits. 

It was wistful and nice trying to be like a kid (I'm still a kid) but thinking about being young when all you wanted was to be old and then things change and you want to be young again. Oh life.

Check the fringe y'all I'm really enjoying it and it can provide some nice protection from s'more cookies and it's "Russian Acne Roulette". 

White ribbon from somewhere over the rainbow, Blouse is Abecrombie & Fitch, vest is Seed, skirts, socks, house broach and shoes are vintage.

My ageing hands are my favourite thing. I can't remember where the ring is from and have the motivation of my sister to find out APOLOGIES!